The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
I came to Alcoholics Anonymous to help stay sober – not to become a God loving, prayer chanting person. Being an atheist while attending Alcoholics Anonymous can be frustrating; from the prayers to the Big Book it all has religion seriously involved. I know people will make the argument that “AA is spiritual, not religious” but I’m sorry – that is bullshit. The US judicial system has declared AA religious enough to not be mandated by the courts. AA is quasi-religious.
We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.
Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 46
I could pick and choose more quotes from the Big Book – but I’m not out to attack AA entirely. It’s flawed, and so are a lot of things, but AA and particularly the fellowship has helped me stay sober. So this post is for those atheist (or agnostics) who find it conflicting to go to AA meetings and be true to their selves.
I’m an atheist and I usually attend AA meetings a few times a week; here are a few tips that have helped me that you may or may not agree with:
- I try to tolerate the religious aspect, and grab onto people that aren’t all about God and religion.
- Realize that AA is not perfect, but it’s practically the only group help there is available for us alcoholics and addicts. SMART Recovery is preferred for me, but face-to-face meetings are scarce.
- Remember what AA is all about: change.
- Find a sponsor who is agnostic or atheist. I was lucky to find one who’s one of my best friends these days.
- Certain meetings are more religious than others.
- Some major cities have agnostic AA meetings (DC, NYC, more). Here’s the link for agnostic AA meetings.
- Start your own agnostic meeting.
- Don’t just rely on AA meetings. Use online forums, online SMART meetings, or see a therapist.
- Take what works, and leave the rest.
Even with these things I do to tolerate the religious aspect it’s still hard sometimes. Sometimes if a friend relapses AAers will say “God wanted him to relapse”, “He wasn’t praying enough”, or some bullshit like that. If something good happened in my life “Dude that’s God at work”. No it’s not – I worked for it and got it. I feel so bad when people are feeling shitty or their life situation is not pleasant and all they do is pray that God will take care of them. There is no God, and you have to take care of yourself or find someone real to help you.
If you let it be known you’re an atheist (which I don’t usually), you’ll almost always get shit from other members. Or people will come up to you and see if you’re “okay” and not about to relapse or something. Additionally, people will judge you hard for not “adhering to the program” or not giving up your life to God. It’s pathetic, but that’s what has happened to myself and other atheists in recovery.
The more I’m sober the more I’m confident in my self and true to my self. There’s a conflict there though. If I want to be true to my atheism then how can I go to AA meetings that are filled with God and prayer??
There are some times where I go to a meeting and feel like I just wasted my time there due to all the religious talk going on. I love the fellowship of AA but tolerating the religious part of it is easier said than done for me sometimes.
Sober Politico 